Depressing Life Event Candles


Nothing captures the smell of a legal document declaring an end to your failed marriage like this Freshly Signed Divorce Papers Candle. Everyone around you saw this coming, and with the light from this candle now you can see it too.

This is just one of the Depressing Life Event Candles you can use to mark an important life event for yourself or others with a candle. Offering versions for events like being friend-zoned by your crush, realizing that you’ll never escape your crushing debt, or the previously mentioned signing of divorce papers. These candles are a lighthearted way to channel some of your frustration into a physical object you can actually set fire to without attracting unwanted attention from law enforcement or mental health officials.

Oh, and just so you don’t think they’re all bad events, there are also fun ones such as the Basement Frat Party and even everyday ones such as the Dentist Office Waiting Room.

As far as scents go, they tend to be pretty traditional candle scents. For example, to me, the Clearing of Your Browser History candle smells more like Vanilla and flowers as opposed to Kleenex, hand lotion, and “something else” like you would expect to smell as you shamefully clear your browser history. Yeah, you know what I mean.

They also, as you might expect, make awesome gag or white elephant gifts. There’s basically no person or event for which (at least) one of these Depressing Life Event Candles wouldn’t be suitable.

Depressing Life Event Candles: Product Details

  • Dimensions: 4.5 x 3.5 inches.
  • Weight: About 1.5 pounds.
  • Materials: Mostly soy wax, some bitterness, and a lot of humiliation.
  • Great lighthearted gag gift.

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