Do your shorts have more racing stripes than an entire fleet of racing cars? If they do, then you need Shittens brand anti-poop gloves.

These disposable, mitten-shaped moist wipes can save you a lot of embarrassment and make your underwear last longer. Not to mention, keep your fingers clean and poop-free, which is very important in today’s world.

Shittens are perfect when you just can’t get “clean and fresh” no matter how many rolls of toilet paper you use.

Oh sure, you could use baby wipes for the same effect but, they’re small and carry a high risk of accidental fecal contamination. Especially the morning after a day at the ball park and too many $19 beer and chili cheese dog combos. 

From the Amazon comments: (Because they were that fucking awesome…)

I’ve been compared to a living as-seen-on-tv commercial. Life is simply too hard for me. Shittens allow me avoid messy situations in the bathroom. Far too often I find myself with poop running down my legs, the wall, and my dog. Thanks to Shittens, all I do is throw more money away on items that help me stand and breath at the same time.
These are made to wipe your butt, sometimes you slip and graze a nut. If you find poop on your ball, there’s lots of room so wipe it all. It gets your junk so squeaky clean, it will have a healthy sheen. People will be so impressed, they’ll say your bean bag is the best. There is no product to rise above it, just put one on and you can shove it.

Shittens Disposable Moist Wipes: Product Details

  • Shipping Weight: 1.6 ounces
  • Each eco-friendly wipe is FDA approved and safe for babies, pets and adults.
  • Each Package contains 20 Shittens.

      Moar Stuff - You don't need it but you know you want it.